I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
