Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
