i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
