A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
