dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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