I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
