i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
