Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
