I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
