$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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