If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
