I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
