it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
