I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
