You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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