At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
