Christians are straight up FREAKS
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
