I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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