I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
