My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
