Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
