He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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