You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
