I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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