Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
