Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
