Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
