Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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