Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
