I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
