Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
