real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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