East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
