he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I have aggressive nipples.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
