the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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