Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
