ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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