Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My vagina just recognized that song.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
