I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
