I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
