Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
