My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
