no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
