are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He felt like a one man threesome
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
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