i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he thought i was a dude.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
