i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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