Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
