and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
