trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it's like iHOP with fire
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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