I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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